broken

how is it fair that i'm supposed to know
what you're going through that's making you not the same
how is it fair that because i'm supposed to know
i'm supposed to be bigger and better than i feel
hold your hand
walk you through it all

i want to cry
i want to scream
i want someone to hold my hand
where were you when i did the same?
you were gone and i had to deal

you haven't held my hand in a very long time
and so quickly you're letting go if my heart too

i don't fucking care about your algorithms of anxiety
i don't fucking care that's what led you leave me
all i care is that you left me

you left me, you pushed me, you let me be alone
because you didn't want to be together in the same way

sharp pain/soft tissue

Can you transfer/transplant my heart
but in layers
because I don't want all of it gone
just the pieces with you.
The rest of my heart is not a bad apple
it is firm, resolute
but the parts that you touched
are soft, yieding, sickly sweet with age and misuse.

riotess

the ogress riotess riles the few, biles the many
only an ogress can shatter the glass ceiling, the invisible barrier
yet she now will have scars, ugly criss-crossing scars from the struggle, from the win
to be set apart, she has to cheat on her heart
left behind are the other dreams she wanted
left behind are the other lives she wanted
no one will help her with her ugly mission
not that she wants pseudo hand holding anyway
she would rather feel her own leathery skin, tough from outside barbs
than be reminded yet again, that she made the sacrifice for those who don't care

Shake a tower. Take a shower. Shake a tower. Take a shower. She ran the phrases through her mind as the water sluiced down into the drain, via her body. She felt cold and warm, and fuzzy and sharp, all at the same time. She had a nightmare before awaking, about blood and what can happen when one isn't careful. She is careful, but never careful enough, because if she was she wouldn't worry as much about the dreams.

New Year, New Writing

Happy New Year! Here's to new beginnings!